Kiss From a Rose
by Bubble Wrapped Kitty
Summary: Nathan brushed the little white petal against his lips, remembering the feel of it and wondering... wondering if she would feel the same way.
1. Kiss From a Rose

AN: Just a random little drabble that wouldn't leave me alone. There's a very high possibility that I will add a second chapter, but for now it's just a oneshot. Set at the very end of "Fear and Loathing." Obviously spoilers for that episode. Also I know someone else wrote a similar fic with the same title (which was spectacular so go read it if you haven't), but I really hope I managed to make it different enough to avoid copy-cat issues.

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><p><span>Kiss From a Rose<span>

Nathan twisted the rose petal between his fingertips, staring at the little slip of white as it curled in his grip. That morning he would've been able to feel it, feel the way the little veins inside the petal created ridges on its surface, or the way the soft and cool contrasted against the warm coarseness of his hand. Now there was nothing.

Sighing, he lifted the petal and tentatively brushed it across his lower lip. _The skin on your lips is the most sensitive of your whole body._ He could still remember the way it had felt that morning when he'd done it. The tickle and thrill that had shot through his nerves at the contact. The petal had felt so unbearably soft against his skin, like silk. Now it was nothing but an empty movement. He could smell it, taste it when he flicked the tip of his tongue against the white, but the nerves were all dead again. He felt nothing.

He dropped his hand, letting the petal slip from his grip and float down to rest on the tablecloth. There was no point to it. He couldn't feel anything. Trying now was just teasing himself. Mocking.

He thought wistfully of the few brief hours that he'd had to feel normal. The sun on his skin, the breeze on his cheeks, the simple sensation of his own clothes rubbing his body. Denim rough and rigid against his legs, his thin cotton tee-shirt light and soft. He'd felt thousands of things that he had never dreamed of actually feeling again. The leather steering wheel of his Bronco, the dull pain of running into a door frame, the smooth curve of his gun's trigger beneath his finger. Duke had clapped him on the shoulder and he'd felt it. Human contact. All of it was so real and staggering.

And still there were so many things he hadn't experienced. He'd wanted to have the time to stop and take a shower. Feel the warm water rolling down his skin, not have to use a thermometer to check if it was a safe temperature before jumping in. Touch something hot and feel the burn and the sting. Hug someone. Stand barefoot in the grass and feel the little blades between his toes. Pet a cat. Or a dog, even, just something with fur.

There had been one minute, one long minute, where he'd been tempted to let Ian keep his Affliction. To let the man die and take the stupid curse with him. Then Nathan could live a normal life; go about his day like a normal man. No thermometers. No checking everyone else's clothes before going outside to make sure his blended in with the right weather. No mysterious injuries that he didn't notice until someone pointed them out to him. He'd be able to socialize with people without feeling awkward. Shake hands. Hug. He could even date, really. Hold a woman's hand. Kiss her. Have sex. He could be normal. _Real_.

Then he'd looked back at Jackie, a young woman trapped behind a pair of thick blackout goggles to protect her from herself. If he let Ian take his Affliction, this girl would never have a normal life. She would never be able to look at someone without protection. She would be forced to keep dark glasses covering her eyes whenever another person was near for her own safety. That boy next to her who loved her so much would never be able to look her in the eye and tell her so. Nathan's Affliction was hell, but hers was worse. He couldn't bring himself to be selfish and let this girl suffer when he could do something to fix it.

So now he was sitting alone at a table in the Gull, staring down at a curled white rose petal lying atop the pristine tablecloth. The colours and shapes they created were beautiful. Just centimetres away his hand was flat against the cloth, but feeling nothing. Back to normal. He was the man who was numb. Unable to feel anything in the world around him. Nothing except her.

Audrey.

He touched his own hand lightly, brushing his fingers over the place where she'd laid hers. The sensation was still vivid in his mind. Her skin was warm and soft, her dainty little fingers curved over the backs of his knuckles, one fingertip resting at his wrist. The contrast of her smooth palm against the roughness of his hand was magic, like night and day. Every time he felt it, the power of it washed over him all over again.

She'd done it on purpose, he could tell that much. He'd been rambling his way through an explanation of why he'd done what he did, and she'd reached across and touched his hand. The contact surprised him so much he'd fallen silent instantly. Then she'd given him the smallest of smiles before leaving.

Nathan smiled and ran his fingers across the back of his hand again. He appreciated the way she had taken the news so well, learning that she was the one person in the world he could feel. Of course maybe she wasn't all that surprised since she seemed to be immune to the Troubles as a whole. He accepted each brief contact that she offered him, from a handshake to a high-five to simply nudging fingers while passing him a coffee. He categorized them and filed each one away in his memory. Every single one of them since the moment she'd planted her lips on his cheek in a feather-light kiss.

That moment was his favourite and the most vivid. The way her silken lips had rubbed against the coarse stubble along his jaw. It was soft and warm and smooth. A barely there pressure, like a butterfly maybe. As he glanced down at the rose petal on the tablecloth he thought maybe that's what her lips had felt like; like brushing a rose petal across his cheek. He remembered the feeling of the rose petal on his lip and wondered if that's what it would feel like to kiss her.

Wait, why was he thinking about kissing Parker?

He'd told himself he wouldn't think about those kind of things. He wouldn't risk his friendship with Parker over this, no matter how great it was to feel again. She was his best friend, practically his only friend, and he couldn't give that up.

Still he couldn't help but imagine what it would feel like...


	2. Rose Petal Kisses

AN: Alright, so writing the companion piece was nowhere near as difficult as I expected it to be. In fact, it took less time to write than the first part did. So this one is from Audrey's point-of-view, reflecting on the events of "Fear and Loathing." Shameless fluff alert.

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><p><span>Rose Petal Kisses<span>

Audrey stared at the little white flower sitting on her bedside table. She'd brought it home from the funeral with her, and now the glossy petals were tempting her. Whenever she looked at them she remembered the rapt fascination that had taken over Nathan's face when he felt them. She had never seen her partner as blissful as he was when he was touching that single white rose. Feeling it. It had felt strange to her at first to watch him brush the rose against his lips so tenderly, but now she couldn't seem to get the image out of her head.

What had it felt like? He'd told her that the lips were the most sensitive skin on the human body. Was that why he'd been so fascinated? Was he trying to overwhelm himself with sensation just in case his Affliction had come back? Which it had, of course. He'd sacrificed his ability to feel to help out that young girl. Just when he had gotten his sense of touch back, something that had caused him to look more peaceful and happy than she had ever seen him, he had lost it again. He wouldn't feel that rose petal kiss again.

Curious, Audrey slid to the edge of her bed and picked up the rose. Even though it made her feel foolish to do it, she touched the flower to her lips. It was soft and smooth and cool, sending a pleasant chill down her spine. As she brushed it along the length of her lips it tickled her skin, like a butterfly kiss. The feeling was almost intoxicating. Closing her eyes, she focused on only the feel of the rose petals against her lips, ignoring everything else around her. Was this how it had felt for Nathan?

It felt to her like the ghost of a kiss. Like the memory of a kiss from long ago, something that had faded to the back of her mind and when she tried to recall it she got only the faintest sensations. A kiss without warmth or hunger or passion. How long had it been since she'd been kissed? Since before Haven, before Florida even. Two years, maybe. What about Nathan? When was the last time he had felt a kiss? Not since his Affliction had come back, surely.

As she traced the rose petal around her lips she imagined Nathan's expression as he'd done the same thing. The longing, the hunger, the euphoria. And suddenly she wanted to have that look directed at her. She wanted to give him a true sensation, not just the ghost of one, and have him look at her the way he'd stared at that silky rose. She needed to feel that warmth and pressure and passion again, and she wanted to share it with him. After the sacrifice he'd made, he deserved as much.

Before she was really aware of what she was doing, she was pounding on the door to Nathan's house. She could hardly remember the drive over, just the need to be there. There were indistinct noises from inside as she shifted around on the porch, realizing in that moment she had forgotten both shoes and a jacket. The fire blazing under her skin only did so much to quell the cool of the night. Nathan finally opened the door, looking tired and disheveled and thoroughly confused. "Parker?"

Audrey didn't respond, just launched herself forward at him. She grasped his face between her hands, feeling the five o'clock shadow along the ridge of his jaw. She had to stand on her toes to reach, dragging his face downward slightly to close the gap, and then their lips met.

It was so much better than she imagined. His lips were slightly coarse and rough against hers, but they were warm. So much warmer than the ghostly rose petals. For a moment he was frozen in shock, and then he reciprocated eagerly. His arms wrapped around her waist to pull her closer, lips moving against hers hungrily. One hand tangled in her hair, twisting the golden strands around his fingers, the other slid beneath the hem of her shirt to splay against the small of her back, his touch hot against her wind chilled skin. Their lips moved together like a dance, pushing and pulling and bending around each other. The thrills that ran down her spine this time were significantly more pleasurable.

"Parker," Nathan said, drawing back slightly and apparently with a great deal of difficulty. His voice was low and ragged, a deep edge to it that made Audrey shiver. "What-?"

And suddenly she was doubting herself. Had she just forced herself on him? His response might have been entirely instinctual, just a basic reaction to the sensation of feeling. What if he hadn't wanted this? What if he thought of her as only a partner and nothing more? She might have just jeopardized the best friendship that she'd ever known. "I'm sorry," she muttered immediately. She made to pull back, fighting panic, but Nathan didn't release her.

"What just happened?" Nathan asked.

"I don't know," Audrey admitted, her voice shaking. She couldn't think clearly so close to him, her chest flush against his so she could feel every shallow, jagged breath he took, the heat of his skin seeping through his thin teeshirt and into her body. "I don't know, I just - I'm sorry, I shouldn't have forced myself on you like that."

Nathan gave a low chuckle. "Trust me, no forcing occurred," he said. "I just - I wanted to make sure. Do you really want this? Or is this just some way to burn off stress or something?" Audrey couldn't summon up an answer because her head was spinning. What was she doing? She didn't even know anymore. "Because you're my best friend and I don't want us to screw that up over an impulse unless you _really_ mean it." Nathan removed his hand from her hair and tipped her head up so he could meet her gaze. His deep, blue-gray eyes were darker than usual but there was all of the same concern and compassion that she always saw in him. The way that he genuinely cared about her and her feelings and well-being. "Audrey?"

He whispered her name gently, lovingly, and she suddenly knew. Realized that it had been there all along and she'd just never noticed before. "Nathan, I want this," she assured him, surprising even herself by her sincerity and confidence in that statement. "I want _you_."

"Thank God," Nathan breathed and he cut off her laugh by crushing his mouth against hers again. Wrapping his arm securely around her waist, he walked them into the house and Audrey shut the door with a swift kick. Clothes littered the floor along the path to his bedroom, and they tangled in the sheets as they decorated each others' skin with rose petal kisses.

That night made the white rose Audrey's favourite flower.


End file.
